Friday, June 19, 2009

Never Posted (6/19/09)

I must admit, an oceanic wave of loneliness has recently overwhelmed me and pushed me face first into its sand banks.

I have realized that I am in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, and am only able to exhibit an unfamiliar part of myself. I have been so used to being familiar with Taylor and the people there. Also, I have gone home for the past two summers, which is very familiar territory. Sometimes the familiarity of home is the only thing I like about it, but that's a different blog post...

I wouldn't say that I am not enjoying my time in Anderson-- I love the people I live with, I love the people I am getting to know, and I, well, like the job I have-- but I would say that it's hard. I have developed relationships with people who know me without me having to explain myself, and that still has yet to be fostered here, which is understandable because I have only been here for a few weeks. Still, that doesn't take away my cravings for friends, for people who know me and have been with me through very beautiful and very ugly times.

I am not reluctant to seek this type of relationship with those by whom I am surrounded at this time in my life, but I know that I am only going to be here for a summer, which is not the same amount of time I have spent building relationships elsewhere (i.e. Taylor and home). I want to get to know people, and I want people to know me, but it is hard to take that initiative and randomly converse with people in a completely unfamiliar setting.

Who ever said life would be easy though? Definitely not Jesus or anyone else in the Bible. Definitely not anyone I have ever known and trusted, but why do I still look for the easy way out?

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