Today, I was in a counseling session discussing my general thriftiness with the occasional shopping spree, to which my counselor responded, "It's probably the childlike part of you that wants to treat itself every once in a while, and that's not bad as long as it's not overboard." I knew that of course, and I went on to explain to her how the last shopping spree I went on was, in fact, a bit overboard, but how I don't do that all the time.
In a separate but connected thought pattern, most nights I find myself relaxing while browsing pinterest, etsy, or modcloth looking for beautiful things to someday make or buy to make my life a bit more beautiful and fun. I probably buy less than one percent of the things that I "like" or "post" or "pin" or "wish" or whatever else you can do with those things. I mostly just enjoy seeing what new things are out there and in what new ways people are designing things. It keeps my mind fresh and helps me feel inspired. Sometimes it overwhelms, too. Especially if I spend many hours a night, many nights in a row doing said activities.
I think tonight I came to a point of overwhelmed-ness. I also came to a point to understanding. I need newness to keep my mind fresh and moving forward. I hate to be stagnant, and I think that matches the nature of life. As much as we want to stay put and keep comfy, life often pushes to the edge, to the limit, into discomfort, out of the box, onto our knees, into someone else's arms or home for support. Life, by it's very nature is not stagnant. Here's where you may be disagreeing with me. We all have come to that point of boredom with our daily living and routines,etc, but let us be clear, life only appears to be stagnant in those times. Do not get lost in it-- only an ILLUSION.
Here's where the understanding deepens: if you take no notice of things outside of your routine, your own little world, you may be under the impression that each day is as dull and predictable as the rest, but I would challenge you at minimum to turn on your local NPR station. NPR reports on news and weather, as many broadcasting networks do. Heck, if you aren't a radio person and TV is more your thing, you could just turn on your local news station. Either way, you are bound to notice that something is different today from yesterday. If not in your own life, in someone else's. If not noticeably in someone else's, at least in the weather.
The seasons and weather, I think, are God's ways of reminding us that we are different every day in some way. Our lives as a whole mirror not a stagnant puddle after a storm, but the river that flows without end, even when a bit dry. We are the seasons that change every year without ceasing. We are the wind that blows unpredictably and unexpectedly. We are the clouds that blow and shift and change around the spherical planet we inhabit. We are the death and rebirth. We are the sleep and the awakening. Life is not meant to stand still or mechanically repeat endlessly. Even in our routines and rhythms, life is always changing and different. I think if we are able to recognize that and pay attention to it on a regular basis, we can become more intentional about the ways we are growing and changing as people.
Counseling has taught me a lot-- that I am in control of things that I never thought I had control over, and also it has taught me that I am not in control over things that I thought I did have control over. Nevertheless, both require a conscious acceptance that both postures are a part of who I am. Life requires me to bind it in a stranglehold and to release it without knowing its path. The timing of each action is what I am working on now-- to know when to grasp and tame and to know when to submit and observe. It's a beautiful gift that we have the opportunity to take on both perspectives. I want to learn to continue how to balance them.
Take a look at the right hand side of this page to get some material inspiration, and take a walk outside to find your natural inspiration. It's always there waiting for you to seek it and either observe or tame it. Be blessed on this beautiful day.