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Monday, August 10, 2009

People are weird. This country is weird.

Everyone is unique. All people are different. Diversity is beauty. Love all people despite their quirks and mistakes.

I feel like I have been directly taught these things since elementary school, even though I have been receiving an indirect education counter to the one I've officially received. I thought I loved people, but I have come to realize that really I choose the people I want to love, and the people I choose are the people that are honestly not that hard for me to love. I choose the easy way out. I don't condemn myself for this action because I think this is what people do. Some people are more selective about who they choose to love than others are, but ultimately, most people choose to love some and not to love others.

In working at an insurance agency, I see all kinds of people with all kinds of quirks and habits and lifestyles, to some of which I have a hard time relating. Today alone I have talked to people that don't know how to calm down and not sweat the small things, people who have a hard time putting others above their own interests, people who have speech problems, back problems, neck problems, drug problems, money problems, family problems, marriage problems, memory problems, social skill problems, etc. There are simply a lot of weird people; all people have problems, all people are failures in one area of our lives or another. We search and search for those other few areas (or area) in which we are successful so that we can hold ourselves higher than we hold other people. We see only our strengths and other people's weaknesses, and when others make a mistake, we treat it more harshly than we would treat ourselves if we had made that same mistake. What a harsh, judgmental nature we have.

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about justice lately, justice alongside mercy and grace. I don't know that I have come to any conclusions, except that the collective human idea of justice is a very flawed one. Justice is self-entitlement, not truly accepting the consequences of our actions, which is I think is at least closer to what God's definition of justice would be than our current human definition. Think about law suits, insurance claims, even our concept of customer service when we visit restaurants and other businesses that were created to serve our "needs." It's kinda sickening.

Along similar lines, I want to reflect a little on my experience with being an American today. I don't feel like I jive with America so much. America is run like a corporation, or even a small business (like the insurance agency I work for)-- always saving face. Keep the level of professionalism and customer service as a high priority, even if it is not consistent with your actions. If it were any other way, the United States would be in over her head (moreso than she already is) and spread far too thin in dealing with foreign diplomacy and all other areas the "most powerful nation in the world" dabbles.

That's another thing-- the United States being the most powerful nation in the world is an illusion, and I wonder how long we have been fooling everyone else in this facade. The only power we have is the power to advance our own national interests, which is the same power that almost all the nations in the world have. Maybe we get more credit because we are younger and bigger than some, kind of like the star running back for the Superbowl champion team, or something. (I'm trying to fool you into thinking I know anything about football-- now that's an illusion fit for the Prestige! haha)


Anyway, (sort of a blanket conclusion here) I don't like the business world or things that are business like or run like a business is run. I won't like "business" unless it is reformed extremely. I also don't like the way American politics work, and I wish that I could do something about it. I always want to tell people that complain to stop complaining and to do something about it, but politics is a huge task to tackle, especially without some kind of degree in law, political science, philospohy, business, or even international studies (which is probably closer to the route I would take). If I took matters into my own hands right now, I could start building my own platform and administration with nepotism and my various lobbyist connections, then maybe by the time I am Obama's age, I can become president and turn this nation upside down.

On the other hand, maybe I'll stick with the underground approach: continue to learn to love quirky, annoying, difficult people, join in the greatly diverse fellowship of the universal church (God's true nation), and actively pursue the revolution of the Gospel in this corrupt excuse for a world.

Time to step off the soapbox, I think. Thanks for taking the time to read my rants! I hope this makes sense to people outside of my head (not that there are people inside of it...). Please offer your comments and questions as well. I want to keep learning and shaping my own opinions as I continue to grow up and live an adult-like life. :)

PS/Disclaimer-- I am very grateful that the United States is not a dictatorship from which I have to flee as a refugee or anything like that, I just wonder sometimes if accidentally wandering permanently into a socialist country in Europe might lead me to a life more in line with my ideologies. Don't tell Obama I said that.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Hollywood

"When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who's not their partner. It's really kind of gross."

--Megan Fox, "Mikaela Banes" in Transformers

Friday, June 19, 2009

Never Posted (6/19/09)

I must admit, an oceanic wave of loneliness has recently overwhelmed me and pushed me face first into its sand banks.

I have realized that I am in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, and am only able to exhibit an unfamiliar part of myself. I have been so used to being familiar with Taylor and the people there. Also, I have gone home for the past two summers, which is very familiar territory. Sometimes the familiarity of home is the only thing I like about it, but that's a different blog post...

I wouldn't say that I am not enjoying my time in Anderson-- I love the people I live with, I love the people I am getting to know, and I, well, like the job I have-- but I would say that it's hard. I have developed relationships with people who know me without me having to explain myself, and that still has yet to be fostered here, which is understandable because I have only been here for a few weeks. Still, that doesn't take away my cravings for friends, for people who know me and have been with me through very beautiful and very ugly times.

I am not reluctant to seek this type of relationship with those by whom I am surrounded at this time in my life, but I know that I am only going to be here for a summer, which is not the same amount of time I have spent building relationships elsewhere (i.e. Taylor and home). I want to get to know people, and I want people to know me, but it is hard to take that initiative and randomly converse with people in a completely unfamiliar setting.

Who ever said life would be easy though? Definitely not Jesus or anyone else in the Bible. Definitely not anyone I have ever known and trusted, but why do I still look for the easy way out?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

An "inconvenient truth," perhaps?

In order to uphold our personal values, we must sometimes (maybe even oftentimes) sacrifice efficiency and convenience. We are socially conditioned to feel like these things are inherently valuable in and of themselves. I do not agree!

Silly societal machine, wanting us to buy wholeheartedly into mindsets rooted in the Industrial Revolution and consumerism. I refuse to follow blindly, Mr. Machine.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

No Difference

Small as a peanut,
Big as a giant,
We're all the same size
When we turn off the light.

Rish as a sultan,
Poor as a mite,
We're all worth the same
When we turn off the light.

Red, black or orange,
Yellow or white,
We all look the same
When we turn off the light.

So maybe the way
To make everything right
Is for God to reach out
And turn off the light!

--Shel Silverstein (aka one of my favorite people)